Frozen Yogurt is the Anti-Christ in which we are all addicted to. And I am not racist enough to go so far as to say that we are not all African American or Hispexican, but we do love FREE things, and possibly deep fried watermelons showered with sweet Churro dirt. So next time you find yourself 5 blunts away from sober, venturing off to your local self-serving, cream-fixin’ center, feel free to grab your pint-sized bucket of inevitable godliness, fill ‘er up with contradicting ingredients, step on out of line, and meander opposite of the cash register towards the bathroom [yogurt in hand!]. If vacant, let yourself in, lock the door behind you, sit on the toilet, and ENJOY your free dessert, but refrain from sharing with the toilet gnomes [if approached by such dubious ruffians].
Here are some concoctions I stumbled across on Frozen Yogurt Forums when I was pulled over for heroin use without a seatbelt or, as you may know it, diacetylmorphine time and driving, along the Internet Superhighway. Enjoy at your own risk.
Oreo’s Treasure Chest
Oreo Tart, Oreo cookies, drenched in Chocolate Syrup, Nickels, and Skittle cores [no shells]
Candy Cane yogurt, Santa’s Jolly Sexcrement, dipped in High Fructose Corn Syrup, and Liquid Cocaine and topped with Abominable Ass Dandruff.
Tapatio Tart, stuffed in Red Vines showered with Crushed Red Pepper, Hot Tamale Candies, and Magma Chunks then farted on by Wes Craven.
The Day Raper Skewers
Blueberry Tart and Strawberries, Kobe Beef and Cankle Sweat deep fried in a 10 Cent Lemonade drizzled with Madame Butterfly’s Sins.
A Hot Pocket with a surprise your rectum will never forget but you'll want to. We can't give it away!
Terence’s Tasty Pajama Party
Plain Tart, Pussy Eczema Flakes from my sunburn't scotum mixed with Inner Thigh Dirt, boiled and tossed on Vermicelli all sneezed on by deaf children.
Dragonfruit Yogurt smothered with an Ovarian Omelet topped with Powdered Sugar and the Hope of Ten Homeless Men.
Dad’s Choice
No Yogurt because he told you it’d spoil your dinner but you go with Mango-Peach anyway, which leads to a Full Grained Chrome-tanned Leather Belt wrapped in a delectable touch of Barbed Wires and Strike-Anywhere Matches, all deep fried in Salty Tears, Chewing Tobacco and sautéed in your fears.
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